Kung-Fu Panda 2

Monday - 30 May 2011

Day 98

I just saw Kung-Fu Panda 2 for the second time, and 2 things made this movie awesome.

First, I have to pay tribute to the amazingly delicious CGV popcorn. The half caramel-half cheese mix was a little reminiscent of Chicago style caramel corn. I felt like I was back on Michigan Ave, eating popcorn and watching tourist swarm the Bean (miss you Ken!).

Second, I really enjoyed the message about adoption in the film. If you've read my previous posts, I've talked about how Meet Joe Dirt is one of my favorite adoption-related movies; this film was similar. [Spoiler Alert] Distraught by the realization of his adoption, even though his dad is clearly a goose, Po wanders off to save the day and confront all his deep lying identity, adoption, and relinquishment issues. Just like hick-David Spade in Joe Dirt, he realizes that his true family were the people that were there in his life the whole time. There's a pretty moving scene where he has a sequence of flashbacks of all the experiences he had with his father and friends. I hope one day right before I go save the world, I get to have a flashback of all the past wonderful years with my family.

Now, I'm not sure why, but the ending did make me a little upset. After all the hilarious Jack Black mannerisms, and the kick-splosive (from my Kung-fu Panda t-shirt) action, Po finds his inner peace with all the adoption stuff and returns home. Right before the film cuts to credits, you find out his birth-father is still alive, setting up the third film. I was so happy that he had found his inner peace, that I'm really worried/agitated/sad and a whole other array of emotions, that he'll have to meet his birth-father. I suspect the film will go into loyalty issues between the fathers, and he'll have to make a decision on where he belongs, and all the other complicated stuff that really needs to be done tactfully. Perhaps it's my own adoption story subliminally affecting my judgment of this children's movie, but for whatever reason I kind of wish his birth parents were dead and out of the story.

Guess we'll just have to wait for Kung-Fu Panda 3.

Also, just wanted to site this blog from the Guardian.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/film/filmblog/2011/jun/13/kung-fu-panda-2-adoption-theme

Can't say I agree with a lot of what this guy says, although he poses his thoughts as questions, therefore not "officially" making a stance. Lame. Perhaps just another rash statement by Chris Graywolf, but I really don't like these non-adoptees writing about stuff like this. It reminds me of the profane, yet very educational episode of South Park regarding the n-word. Non-blacks shouldn't pretend like they know how it feels to be called that word.

Athletic Nationalism

Sunday - 08 May 2011

Day 76

I love soccer. All my life. I love American football too, but nothing compared to the greatness of soccer.

Ever since I began following the international game, all the different leagues around the world, along with the major international tournaments, I have always been jealous of Brasil. I guess you could add the big European powerhouses of Germany, Italy, Spain, and England…but still nothing close to Brasil. They are worldclass, and people fear them on the field. I'm sure fellow futebol fans will argue with me on this one, but I still think (over the course of all soccer's history) that Brasil is the best national team, and has produced the best exported players.

I was always sad that America didn't have anything like that when it came to the sports I followed. But after following some of the East Asian professional sports, I have seen American athletes in that same "Brasilian" light. Just walking around Seoul day to day, I see so many Yankees, Red Sox, White Sox, and Indians hats, jackets and shirts. There is more Yankees clothing here than Manchester United or any other European soccer club. When you watch Korean-League baseball or basketball, it is the few exported American players that are feared and respected. Just like the Brasilians of soccer, we have the aura of being top players.

There's not much more to say about this phenomenon, except that witnessing people's love and respect for American athletes has definitely made me more proud (and perhaps cocky) in being American. We still maybe be on the lower ranking when it comes to soccer, but at least we have basketball and baseball down (I don't count the sports that most of the world doesn't play).

America! F' YEAH!

Sorry for the long wait.

My apologies for the posting hiatus. I haven't posted in about a month, but I have been continuing to write. It'll all people up shortly.

Peace

Day 69 - Sunday - 01 May 2011

I have been in Korea for a little over 2 months now, and I can confidently say that I have fully adjusted to being a Seoul citizen. Although I haven't been keeping up with my studies, my ability to read, write, listen, and most importantly, speak Korean has improved greatly. All it took was dismissing any thought of embarrassment or nervousness, and simply giving it ago. Once you don't care that you might look or sound stupid, attempting to communicate as a foreigner isn't a big deal. Most people understand. I have also mastered the subway system, most of the main streets in my borough, riding/communicating in a taxi, and a little bit of the bus system. Life here isn't too bad, and I think after stay here in Seoul, I could survive living in NYC if I wanted to. But I don't. New York sucks.

I have talked with my family, friends, and employers and have decided to extend my 3 month contract to 5.5 months total. I will be here for an additional 3 months, which I am very excited about, but at the same time, I can't wait to get back to good ole US of A. I'm really happy about this feeling. In my earlier days here, I was worried that I would love/hate Korea too much, or miss/not appreciate American anymore. Loving my life here, and also missing home is a good situation to be in. I can enjoy the rest of my time here, and then peacefully return back to the States.

When I return to the US, I will be starting law school at the University of Oregon. Go Ducks! I know there are a million and one differing views on the existence/method/lack of fate and destiny in one's life, but whatever it is, I feel that everything that has conspired in my life for the last 7 years has happened for a reason. My switch in focus of my undergraduate studies from biology to "East Asian stuff" led to my involvement with Holt Camp and Holt Adoption Services, which led to my work with the Law Offices of Michelle M. Hughes & Bridge Communications, Inc. (I owe you Carmen!), which led to my interest in adoption law and attending law school, which finally built up to my yearning to come to Korea and see the Korean side of adoption and life. I feel that everything adoption related all started with Holt Adoptee Summer Camp, and it's comforting to know, and also curious when I think about the way things worked out, that the University of Oregon is in the same town as Holt HQ. It's where international adoption, as we know it today, started. Out of the 30 law schools I applied to, over the span of 2 years, some of which I was accepted, rejected, waitlisted, and given full rides to, Oregon fit perfectly with what was going on in my life.

With the worry about what I'll be doing when I return to America out of the way, I have found Zen. I can enjoy my last couple months here without any worries, except what color of bedsheets I want to buy for my dorm room. Blue of course!

To all those reading this: Cliché as always, but everything happens for a reason. All the good and bad sh*t that I have endured over the last 2 years, all the confusion of where my life was leading all led up to this point of happiness and peace. Life will always work itself out.

Mike L

I love Michael "Lohnzie" L. He's the coolest. He's easily in my top 5 male-friends. Ladies, please date him.

Flashsideways

Day 57 - 19 April 2011 - Tuesday

This was supposed to be the first post, which I intended to write 57 days ago, but I got lazy and there was so much other crazier stuff to write about. I would never say I'm a good writer, but I do take pride in saying I always could come up with good ideas. In fact I wish that could be my job, just coming up with the premises of movies. I'll be the think tank, then real writers can fill in the other 99% of the story.

By the time I reached early high school, I had already scribbled down a crap ton of ideas and short vignettes all revolving around soccer, adoption, and racism. And of course, I was typically the main character. Sadly, and to my regret that I didn't get rich, 2 of my best ideas have been taken. They were stolen, but I guess Hollywood was bound to think of the same ideas eventually. Regardless, I still feel like sharing them.

In middle school I wrote a story about a man on a plane (me). He was headed back to Korea for the first time since being adopted. He decided to do a crossword puzzle, and each question he answered and filled in, coincidentally correlated with a important and meaningful adoption/race related moment of his childhood. As he wrote each letter into the boxes, which would be closely zoomed-in on, flashbacks of his past would slowly being to overlap the screen. I thought that would look so cool. This idea ended up becoming Slumdog Millionaire. I'm sure I wasn't the first person to think of this idea either, but somewhere lost deep in my basement is a journal with this short story, written years before Slumdog, in my crappy handwriting.

The second story, was embodied in the final season of LOST. For those who are not familiar with this awesome television show, the directors utilized flashbacks, flashforwards, and flashsideways. Now in most of my stories, and just talking about adoption or anybody's life for that matter, you're going to find flashbacks and maybe flashforwards. The unique thing about this story was the flashsideways. In LOST, (SPOILER ALERT) flashsideways were used to show the period between the afterlife and life. All the characters were intertwined and had to re-meet one another to passover to the other side together. My story was going to be a little bit tweaked. I think there is a hypothetical, spiritual life for all adoptees. It doesn't exist, but maybe in thought it does...and that means it does exist. All adoptees have that "what if" life in their heads. What if I was not adopted? What if I was still in Korea? The main character (me of course) would be living his life in America, but when he looked into mirrors, we (the viewers) were transferred to flashsideways of the life that could have been in Korea. There would be moments when he would look up into the mirror and it would show a "Koreanized" version of him, and Korea behind him. The camera would do a 180 rotation from seeing through American-Chris's eyes to Korean-Chris's eyes. The two lives would mirror in some ways, and differ in others. You'd swtiched back and forth from the 2 lives and see what was and what could have been. And to make things a little sci-fi, unrealistic, spiritual, sometimes they would share deja-vu of each other's experiences and memories.

So Slumdog and LOST beat me to the punch, but I always intended to use these cool little cinematic setups in my writing, especially with this blog. So expect more flashbacks, flashforwards, and flashsideways all regarding my past experiences, my expectations and hopes for the future, and my thoughts on the life that could have been in Korea.

Birth Search Part III

Thursday - 14 April 2011 - Day 52

For the time being, I believe this will be the final chapter of my birth search story. I had my most recent meeting at the Holt post-adoption center 1 day ago. This story did start out with surprise and success, with the ease of the process and the fairly quick locating of my birth-family, but now it seems we have reached a standstill.

As told in my second update, my birth-mother and oldest half-sister were located living together in the relatively same region in the outskirts of Masan where I was born. 2 telegrams were sent, signed for, and received. My birth-family and I have discovered and acknowledged the existence of each other, but there is no desire on their side to take this any further and meet in person for the time being.

Although this may seem like a sad way for this part of my Korea journey to end, I couldn't be happier. My positivity and possibly lack-of-care has carried me through. I feel complete and am happy that I know they are alive and well, albeit super-poor. They know I am alive and well and contact information was given to them, so the door is always open for a later reunion (which I don't yet know if I would even agree to). Who knows what the future holds, but I do believe everything that needs to be, will be.

------

As important and meaningful as this event should seem, there have been more important thoughts circling my head. These days I am consumed with thoughts and attempts to understand relinquishment rather than adoption and reunions.

I recently went to help out at Holt's Reception Center. It is a single floor of the same building that I work out of, and at the time, it was taking care of 11 orphans, all under 1 year old. It was a vey moving morning, possibly more moving that meeting my own birth parents. Certain things just fill my brain with experience and insight that I will never forget.

As I sat on the group, holding a 5 month old girl in my lap, rocking her to stay calm, not cry and fall asleep, I stared into her eyes are asked myself how anybody could abandon a baby. This wasn't even my child, and I didn't want to set her down for a second. It blew my mind. I had what I have come to refer as a moment of "Columbine shooting" realization.

After the Columbine shooting took place, I was in the movie theater watching Bowling for Columbine and jolly ole Michael Moore was showing real life clips of the young boys before the shooting. They were sitting at the lunch table talking about how much school sucked and how everybody hated them. Now I'm not here condoning shooting up schools, but at that moment I did feel sympathy for them. I thought to myself, "how much undeserved ridicule, teasing, and persecution would it take for me to reach the point of shooting up a school?" Really, please process that for a second. You think you're a good person now who would never even hurt another human being, now think about how much making-fun-of it would take to get you to lash out on your peers? How many people would have to call you ugly, or a loser, or a racial slur? Every single day of your academic life. It would take a lot, and those boys got it. They were laughed at everyday of their lives.

Anyways…back to the adoption center. I thought about that little girl, Yuna. How bad did life have to be for our birth-parents to relinquish us? Pretty bad. By realizing how precious a baby is, and how much I did not want to set her down for a moment, I came to understand how bad our birth families' lives and situations must have been. I have been told from my file that my birth-family suffered from extreme poverty. Most of the family members couldn't afford and didn't have time for anything past a elementary school education. So they were off to the factory floor and crop fields right away. But feeling in my heart how much I loved Yuna, and all the other babies, at that moment, I think I inversely experienced the extreme poverty my birth-family faced. The love for me was out balanced by the terrible living situations, and I now know it would take A LOT to relinquish a child. I hope people can understand this.

I am at peace with everything.

Relinquishment and adoption.

Thank you Korea.

Thank you Yuna.